I have a confession to make. Yup – that’s right. It is a hard-core get real kind of thing that I need to share with each of you.
And believe me – it is not easy to be brutally honest and share those parts of oneself that reek of imperfection.
For as long as I can remember, I struggled with keeping promises and following through with things. It was not due to a lack of good intention.
In truth – I always had the best of intentions but sadly, I often quit without trying.
This bad habit took its toll over the years and at times did some serious damage to my self-worth. My inability to stay the course, a lack of discipline and an endless list of excuses stood in the way of living my best life. In short, it stole more than one of my dreams.
I can’t tell you the money I paid to health clubs yet never set one foot in the gym. It is impossible to count the number of diets or get healthy programs I have signed up for only to quit when it was too hard.
Number of books I started to write but never got past the first few paragraphs? Too many to remember and quite honestly, I am too bummed to try.
I have broken promises to myself over and over again. In short – I let myself down and every time I quit it put yet another dent in my already bruised self-esteem.
There was a time that I believed I was destined to fail. I was certain that I would never have the guts to face my fears. There was no way I could break the patterns and achieve my dreams.
Or – could I? One of my biggest frustrations was that helpless feeling one gets while sitting on the sidelines. Time and time again I would watch people set goals and achieve those goals. Everywhere I looked someone other than me was living out their dream.
In all honesty – I hit a wall. I shifted my perspective and instead of thinking “I can’t” I started thinking “I can”. Why not me became an obsessive mantra and quite simply I stopped being a victim and got out of my own way.
SO CAN YOU….
I am not going to lie to you and tell you that changing lifelong habits or breaking patterns is easy. There are still days that I have to work hard to manage my demons that would love nothing more than to knock me off my feet. Those old nagging thoughts that whisper you’re not good enough occasionally try to wiggle their way back in.
But I am aware and on guard when the old tapes start to play. Self-sabotage is no longer an option and for once I am confident that I am in control of my life. Quitting is out of the question and I know that I am strong enough and determined enough to do whatever it takes to succeed.
How about you? Are you ready to be ALL IN and do whatever it takes to achieve your goals and pursue your dreams?
There is nothing that I would love more than to see each and every one of you find the courage and strength to get out of your own way. In the end it is up to you and only you but I would like to share a few powerful things to keep in mind when making changes in your life.
Talk is cheap.
We talk about all of the things we would like to do but our actions rarely back up our words. Talk is cheap and talk does not get things done. Talking about something and actually doing it are two very different things. Stop wasting precious time talking about things you want to do, changes you want to make or the person you want to be. Turn your words into actions and make it happen.
I will do it tomorrow.
Many dreams have been lost and changes left unmade because of waiting for the right time. The “I will do it tomorrow” mentality will get you nowhere fast. Remember there are no guarantees that there will be a tomorrow. Recently, I was coaching a woman who had dreams of traveling the world with her husband. They passed up opportunities to travel over the years saving money and waiting for the perfect time. That perfect time never arrived. Her husband became sick with cancer and died. This is a scenario that happens all the time. Don’t put off things until tomorrow when you can do those things today. There is NO perfect time. Stop waiting and get started now. What are you waiting for?
One of the reasons we fail to follow-through on things and struggle to achieve our goals is that we start too big too fast. Set yourself up for success instead of a fall. Make sure that you are setting goals that are realistic and that you can achieve. Start small. Take baby steps. Recognize that you do not have to sprint to the finish line. It is not necessarily the amount of time it takes to get to your destination but rather that you make the effort and actually show up. Celebrate your wins and keep your eye on that end goal. Remember if you don’t take that first step you will never get to where you want to go.
Stop making excuses.
Excuses will take you down a dead-end street. Human beings are infamous for making excuses or blaming others when something falls apart. Don’t fall into this trap. I was a master at making excuses. It was easy to come up with great reasons every time I quit. There is a massive universal list of excuses that most people have access to and readily use. I have said them all and I have heard them all. Stop making excuses and take accountability for your actions or lack thereof. If you choose to quit – that is on YOU. Period.
You are in control of your life.
No one can make you happy. That is up to you. No one can change you. That is up to you. No one can make your dreams come true or achieve your goals for you. That is up to you. Clearly you are in charge of your own life. We all have the gift of choice and frankly, you can either choose to jump all in and do what it takes to achieve your goals or you can choose to give up or quit. It really is that simple. I understand that life will sometimes throw curveballs that are out of your control but remember – most of what happens in life comes down to personal choice and the outcomes are up to you. You are the author of your own story – make it a good one.
Stop feeling sorry for yourself.
It is easy to play the role of a victim. I would venture to guess that we have all worn that crown at some point in life. However, it is important that you are aware of the victim trap. Playing a victim will keep you stuck. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and pick yourself up off the floor. Kick yourself in the rear if you need to and find your courage. You have what it takes to rise above whatever life throws your way. Life can be a challenge but you have to believe in the power of you. It is not always what happens in life but rather what we do to manage life when things happen to us. You may fall but you absolutely CAN get back up. I dare you to try.
Don’t settle for less than you deserve.
Sadly – people let fear dictate their lives and it often stands in the way of pursuing their dreams. We are afraid to fail and therefore we settle for less and don’t try at all. Fear will steal your joy and sabotage your dreams fast. Face your fears and believe in yourself. You have the right to live a happy and successful life. Shift your perspective and your self-talk. Start to believe that you can and that you deserve to have all that you desire. Start to ask the question – WHY NOT ME?
Remember your why.
One of the most important things to do when setting goals or making changes is to find your why. It becomes much harder to stay strong and get through the hard times if you do not have strong clarity in and around the why. Have a clear vision and always keep your personal why in front of you. Your why is powerful and it will be one of the driving forces behind your success.
You can do hard things.
Life is hard and it is hard to make changes in life. Breaking lifelong patterns can be challenging but with work, commitment and a dedication to yourself it can be done. If you want something bad enough you will find a way. Anything is possible and if you are feeling like the mountain in front of you is too high to climb…find a way to go around it. Half of the battle is believing in yourself and loving yourself enough to try. Don’t quit and don’t give up. You will feel so much better about yourself if you keep moving forward one step at a time.
Believe me when I say that I do not minimize the journey of change and pursuing dreams. I have walked it and I continue to walk it. Transformation does not happen overnight and quite honestly, I am a work in progress every single day.
Stop selling yourself short and accepting mediocrity. Believe that you can and then find a way. Do not work hard only to stop short of the finish line because you gave up and made the decision to quit.
Don’t break any more promises to yourself. Stop bailing on the most important person in your life: YOU. Don’t continue to let yourself down.
Love yourself enough to stay the course and give yourself the gift of finding out how amazing life can be if you hang in there and see things through to the end.
Live your best life and don’t look back. It is pretty awesome when you can push through the tough stuff and get to the other side.
Please share any comments or insight on your challenges in reaching the finish line or things you have done to get there. Have an amazing week!
In Peace and With Love-